Letter to an Old Friend

Hi,

You’ve been calling every evening. Please stop. Yes, I have been ghosting you, so your persistence at this point is pathetic.

You were an important part of my life for a long time. Years of listening to music together, laughing, dancing, crying, and eating burgers at dawn. We had fun, I acknowledge that, but those days are over.

I am done.

Your fake bubbly, golden glow personality is toxic.

You’re a narcissist. You gaslighted me, put me in danger—seriously, what were you thinking?—inhibited my better judgement, imposed your will, made me forget who I was, made me ignore my responsibilities for too long. 

How you tricked me when I was at my most vulnerable! 

This is not friendship. It’s you giving me a false sense of comfort to let me crash the next morning.

I’ve come to realise that Coffee is a better friend, as is Water, my lifelong, faithful ally.

So, Beer, this is goodbye.

No hard feelings.

Yours, Brain.